Top 5 Not To See For The Rest of 2009

If the previous list for Films to watch out for in 2009 was a Preview does that make this one a Deview? Anyway, regardless of what you call it, here are 5 films not to spend your time and cash on for the rest of the year (because you'll be too busy watching the other ones, right? Right?!).

5. Where the Wild Things Are

The book is an absolute classic and this will either follow suit or tank. I'm really not sure about Spike Jonze as Director. He's skilled behind the camera no doubt but can he make a touching, moving kids film with adult themes? Weird suits in the trailer and behind-the-scenes squabbles with the studio (who didn't like the first cut) hint that this might not quite cut mustard.

4. Funny People

I just do not get Seth Rogen (see earlier post about Pineapple Express and Role Models) and I can't claim to be Adam Sandler's biggest fan, in fact, I'm beginning to wonder if I have a sense of humour at all! In all seriousness, this looks like being more jokes about body parts that I could of made up and delivered with more skill than Jonah Hill who is fast becoming one of my pet hates.

3. Saw VI

I'm not sure this needs explanation. The first one was innovative with a great twist that had you in all sorts of knots. The rest have been less so. Derivative genre-trash that is coming out far to regularly. Stop please. Now.

2. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

Heavily featured in the Empire preview issue which half-inspired the previous list, which begged the question... why? Has nobody noticed it's an adaptation of a video game? What was the last good one of those we had? I suppose Super Mario Bros and Street Fighter were alright weren't they? Wait... no... I'm just being told they were utter garbage. It's also Bruckheimer which means he will find someway to blow something up in ancient Persia. Add to that the fact you've got a non-action hero, action hero in Gyllenhall and you've got a whole load of problems. I mean look at that picture. He looks like he's seen a giant evil bunny rabbit for God's sake.

1. New Moon

The first one was romance posing as horror with bad acting from a good actress (Kristen Stewart) and horrendous acting from a bad actor (Robert Pattinson). It also featured an awful script with passages ripped directly out of the book (which I'm also no big fan of) attached to scenes that weren't (witness the muddled scene in the hospital, candidate for worst scene of the year). Comedy villains, sparkly chests, a grand total of one action scene and a lot of campness and mumbling all round made for probably my least favourite film of last year. If anyone is willing to bet that this will be different I'll gladly take your money.

1 comment:

  1. Actually I'm very anxious to see PRINCE OF PERSIA next year. Although it probably won't be a movie with artistic value and critical acclaim, no one should really expect that from it. I think it should be taken as a cinematic joy, a glamorous adventure set in exotic country with amazing costumes, cinematography and action scenes. Like in the good old golden age of Hollywood.
    So, I expect visual pleasure from it and nothing much else.